The Bridge

I have been taking very long showers. I stand under the shower and let the water run over my body till my hands are red and wrinkled. The shower seems to be the only place and time where I can think, clear my head and run the daily events over my head.

It was a bad one right from the start. I could not figure out if I wanted to wear pink socks with my shoes. 10 Minutes later after taking off my socks and putting them on again and off again, I decide that it was ok as I was wearing my fuchsia shirt. 15 minutes late for work later, I miss the tube just as I step onto the platform, missed the bus just as I step out of the station while deciding that I look and feel absolutely ridiculous in pink socks. To get home after work, I had to take 3 different tube lines, the District, the Piccadilly and the Bakerloo line because the district and circle line were down(again). Was exhausted and in a contemplative mood by the time I got home.

The day in the office was busy but not particularly eventful and my mind was wondering most of the time. As yet, I’m am not ready to talk in detail about my work in the new office for those who have been asking, only that it is a place which gets my adrenaline rushing most days and I am still seriously processing and considering the implications of my future fate with this office and the fair amount of events that have occurred in the last month. It is a lot of hard work, but which processes are not painful and plagued by hardship? Breakups, work, relationships, lives?

Worked late again today and decided to take another route home. Walked round the back of the office facing the river and crossed the bridge towards King’s Road before making my way on foot to Slone Square Station.

Along the bridge, I looked back and realized that the most brightly lit building was my office. When I left, ¾ of Group 5 were still there hard at work. I think passion is contagious and I like being around people who constantly aspire to build wonderful things.

When I crossed the bridge, I thought of Yosuke Kubozuka in the movie Ping Pong where he jumps off the bridge into the dark waters of the sea before his metaphoric renewal and the haunting song in the sound track called ‘Rise’ by Sugar Plant which went something like this:

Have you ever been in another war time
I am so afraid I couldn’t find time
The only thing to see
Is a memory I cannot change

Have you ever seen the world in the sea
I’m so afraid I couldn’t find me
… …
I want to rise to the surface
I want to rise to be born
not to die

I want to rise to still see you
… …

The temperatures are finally dipping towards single digits together with my spirits. We’ve lost one of our own. And am loosing another in 2 weeks time. My flat mates have been graciously tiptoeing around my paranoia but the cold is coming still...

On Player_’Rise’ by Sugar Plant