Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Ghosts*


Flickr Update
  • May/June


  • Two of my favourite colours are black and white.

    Grey is made out of black and white. I wear this colour sometimes, increasingly so since I moved to London. I have a grey wool scarf, a grey cardigan, a grey winter jacket and my favourite sweater is grey. But when you look at grey, where has the black and white gone?

    I was sneezing in the office last week. C continued mumbled ‘God Bless You’ to me the whole time. So on Friday, I turn to him and ask him to tell me the story behind this blessing. He tells me that it was thought that at that instant that we sneeze, our heart stops for a fragment of a second. It was a cool thought. I feel it sometimes too, at that moment just before I torpedo one through my mouth and nose.But does the heart really stop for that second?

    Another friend asked me if I ever wondered about how emails are really transmitted. How someone across the oceans from me received my email a split second later. How is it really wired through plasma universes to reach us?

    On a double decker bus into town last monday night. I spotted a bold guy a few seats in front of me. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have noticed him, but this guy had an angry red birthmark on his scalp. I wondered if he ever knew that that birthmark existed before he made the shave?

    2 people wrote to me this week mentioning a difference in me. At least on the surface I must say. We do everything that we can to hide what we feel inside. It doesn’t mean that I am better then I was before. It just means that my ability to conceal some of my emotions are stronger then before.

    These are the scars we sometimes carry. Things we cannot see but exist. Things we try to hide with alcohol, concealer, handy plasters, fags, drugs. But the stories exist in all of us. The person next to you could be a flaming wreck on the verge of a breakdown. And we wouldn’t have know. I think we need to be a bit more sensitive sometimes to those around us.

    Have you been in a situation where you thought something but then that something was something else and the something that you thought was something wasn’t that same something by that same someone? In particular, I met up with someone recently. We use to have a mutually amicable relationship, or at least I like to thing so. Even though it was long ago, the fond emotions still existed and I had and use to have a fair amount of respect for this person. I thought this person was a friend, at least I thought so, even though you can sense a change in their attitude thought periods of time and they tell you everything that they have been up to when asked except the most important parts. I found the most important parts from another friend and I wondered why I didn’t get to hear the most important part first hand. When it comes to many matters, particularly love, work, friendships, honesty is the best policy. You hurt someone even more with pretend and make believe.

    Next time, be honest. I may appear real, but sometimes, like now, you made me feel like a Ghost.


    On Player_’I Can’t Feel You’_By Camouflage

    1 Comments:

    Blogger Adrian said...

    Sometimes the concealer reveals more than it conceals - we try not to overcompensate.

    7:12 pm  

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